How to have a positive relationship with your Self

Let’s be honest – it’s not easy to love ourselves.

At least I know it wasn’t for me. There is a lot of social pressure to be and act a certain way, and when we follow these expectations, we can lose our Selves and end up acting pretty horribly to our Selves.

So here’s my proposition: observe, adjust, repeat. OAR, if you will. (What a wonderful acronym, as we’re using this as a tool to go down our desired path🚣 )


So, assuming we want to build a more positive relationship with our Selves, we must first understand what’s not going well. Take note of how you currently think, speak, and act toward yourself. When you speak to yourself, pause and ask what your intention is and whether it is based in a negative pattern.

For example, notice the act of skipping a meal. Ask yourself why you are making this choice – are you hungry? If not, cool. If yes, dig a little deeper. What’s going on? Keep asking yourself until you really get down to the “why.”


Now that we see what’s going on, replace negative behavior with positive behavior. It’s very hard to just stop. Focus on crowding out the bad by increasing the good.

EXAMPLE: Do you often think, “I need to be better”? When this thought creeps in, tell yourself instead, “I am enough, just as I am


Generally, it’s not enough to do this once. As with any habit or pattern, it takes repetition over time to create lasting change.

Need some ideas on positive activities you can do to crowd out the negative? You got it 😉

  1. Crowd out problematic thoughts with positive affirmations
  2. Make a list of things you love about yourself
  3. Talk to a therapist to identify the root of problematic thoughts
  4. Identify what your needs are – honor them
  5. Parent yourself. Cook a healthy dinner and give yourself an early bedtime
  6. Crowd out bingeing on junk food with healthy meal prep
  7. Spend more time in silence (e.g. meditate)
  8. Crowd out social media scrolling with a good book
  9. Give yourself a hug – literally!
  10. Join a Yoga Nidra or Restorative Yoga lesson

And there’s so much more! To love yourself, you must first be kind to yourself. When you love yourself, you lead a happier, healthier life. The world becomes a place to be enjoyed and loved rather than suffered through.

Need some guidance? Feel free to schedule your free consultation with me, or you can join me for a Yoga Nidra practice every New 🌑 and Full 🌕 Moon. Your relationship with your Self needs just as much time and attention as we put into any other relationship. Even more!

Stay radiant,


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