I still get anxious before I talk to someone. It’s a little twinge of hesitation and fear, but I’ve had a lot of practice by now. I still always go through the question in my head a few times, making sure it’ll come out of my mouth the same way it was originally intended.
I was always praised for working hard. Of course! Duh! If you grew up in American or Polish (or hybrid) culture like I did, you most likely won’t even think twice about equating hard work with personal value. So let’s break this down for a second.
Put simply, the FAE is a tendency that we overestimate how much someone’s personal attributes are influencing their actions, and we underestimate how much that someone’s situation is influencing their actions. Sorry to break it to you, fellow earthlings, but humans make a lot of mistakes that we are not always aware of.
Lifelong relationships can be beautiful in their evolution and growth, especially when you have so many memories that you share. They can also be extra challenging. Let’s face it, who pushes your buttons better than Grandpa when he asks you when you’re going to have babies?